I’ve been out for dinner and the deep red marks on my waist are here to prove it. We had a meal too big. We had the sort of meal where halfway through you regret having eaten that bread at the beginning. 

The sort of meal where you eat for 20 minutes after you’re full as you don’t want to waste food. 

The sort of meal where you get uncontrollable yawns at the end. 

The sort of meal where you want to curl up but you can’t because there’s too much tummy in the way. And you’d look weird. 

The sort of meal where you’re not thinking about that food diary you’re supposed to be filling in. 

The sort of meal where you can feel your makeup going crap half way through. 

The sort of meal where you develop forehead and cheek sweat halfway through (which exacerbates the make up problem). The sort of meal where actually your makeup is now only on your neck and your tired lines are now all too visible around your eyes. 

The sort of meal where you can no longer talk to each other because it just feels too much. 

The sort of meal where you look at each other wondering which one of you is going to vomit on the way home. 

The sort of meal where you just need to lie down and pull your trousers halfway down. 

The sort of meal where you swear you’ll never eat again. 

But you do. 

#hoveringclosetoinsanity